<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[bey]]></title><description><![CDATA[just dumping random thoughts.]]></description><link>https://justapinkgirly.substack.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1xe4!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F78dd527a-9d27-4ae4-b38d-45359439166e_736x736.jpeg</url><title>bey</title><link>https://justapinkgirly.substack.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Wed, 24 Jun 2026 17:43:55 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[bey]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[justapinkgirly@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[justapinkgirly@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[bey]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[bey]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[justapinkgirly@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[justapinkgirly@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[bey]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[Burnout]]></title><description><![CDATA[its a scary thing.]]></description><link>https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/burnout</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/burnout</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bey]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 07 Jun 2026 13:50:35 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!v_PZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F352d9121-86e2-4522-a9d4-2148b68d59e7_736x1045.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><div class="image-gallery-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;gallery&quot;:{&quot;images&quot;:[{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/352d9121-86e2-4522-a9d4-2148b68d59e7_736x1045.jpeg&quot;}],&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;staticGalleryImage&quot;:{&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/352d9121-86e2-4522-a9d4-2148b68d59e7_736x1045.jpeg&quot;}},&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true}"></div><p>Lately, life has been moving faster and i can&#8217;t seem to keep up.</p><p>Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that I needed to move just as quickly&#8212;that I needed to have everything figured out, learn new things immediately, respond faster, work faster, and somehow stay ahead of everything. Every day became a race against deadlines, expectations, and the pressure I quietly placed on myself.</p><p>At first, I thought I was doing well. I thought I was simply adapting to adulthood, to responsibility, to the demands of life. But now, looking back, I realize that I wasn&#8217;t keeping up&#8212;I was merely surviving.</p><p>The days started to blur together.</p><p>I wake up, go to work, complete tasks, go home, sleep, and do it all over again. The rhythm has become so familiar that I barely notice the days passing. Sometimes I find myself dragging my feet out of bed, already tired before the day has even begun. I complain more than I used to. I count the hours until the weekend. I look forward to rest before I even start working.</p><p>And that scares me.</p><p>Not because I&#8217;m tired. Everyone gets tired.</p><p><em><strong>What scares me is how burnout quietly changes the way you see the things you once loved.</strong></em></p><p>I used to genuinely enjoy my work. I loved reaching out to students and hearing their stories. I loved being part of their growth, even in the smallest ways. I enjoyed writing reports because each one represented a child, a journey, a story worth telling. Even the difficult days felt meaningful because I knew why I was doing what I was doing.</p><p>But lately, something feels different.</p><p>One day, I realized that everything had started to feel routine. The work that once energized me now feels like another item on a checklist. The things I used to do with excitement are now things I do because I have to. Somewhere between deadlines, meetings, reports, and responsibilities, I lost touch with the joy that used to be there.</p><p><em><strong>Burnout is strange that way.</strong></em></p><p><em><strong>It doesn&#8217;t arrive with a loud warning. It doesn&#8217;t announce itself the moment it enters your life. Instead, it settles in quietly. It takes little pieces of you at a time&#8212;your energy, your patience, your motivation, your creativity. It slowly turns passion into obligation and purpose into routine.</strong></em></p><p>And before you know it, you&#8217;re standing in the middle of something you once loved, wondering why it no longer feels the same.</p><p>The more I think about it, the more I realize that perhaps I wasn&#8217;t meant to live at this pace forever.</p><p>Maybe I was never supposed to have everything figured out immediately.</p><p>Maybe not every opportunity needs to be seized right away. Maybe not every lesson needs to be learned overnight. Maybe not every task deserves to be rushed through.</p><p>Perhaps the reason I feel exhausted is because I&#8217;ve been treating life like a destination when it was always meant to be a journey.</p><p>Lately, I am learning that slowing down is not falling behind.</p><p>Resting is not laziness.</p><p>Taking a pause does not mean giving up.</p><p><em><strong>Sometimes, slowing down is how we find our way back to ourselves.</strong></em></p><p>So these days, I am trying to be gentler with myself. I am learning to accept that not everything has to happen now. I am learning to leave some things unfinished until tomorrow. I am learning that my worth is not measured by how much I can accomplish in a day.</p><p>Most importantly, I am learning that <em><strong>it is okay to slow down.</strong></em></p><p>Because life will continue moving, with or without my permission. The deadlines will come. The responsibilities will remain. The world will keep spinning.</p><p>But maybe I don&#8217;t have to spin with it every second of every day.</p><p>Maybe I can sit still for a moment.</p><p>Maybe I can breathe.</p><p>Maybe I can rest.</p><p>And maybe, just maybe, slowing down is exactly what I need to remember why I loved this life&#8212;and this work&#8212;in the first place.</p><p>And that&#8217;s okay. :)</p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Life of a mental health worker]]></title><description><![CDATA[written: november 2025]]></description><link>https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/life-of-a-mental-health-worker</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/life-of-a-mental-health-worker</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bey]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 17 Apr 2026 12:10:36 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg" width="1080" height="1920" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1920,&quot;width&quot;:1080,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:815316,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/jpeg&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/i/194383563?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!gTEs!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F46521202-86d9-4975-a99e-3e59f7a15fb5_1080x1920.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>I am a psychology graduate, and for the past three years, I have been working as a guidance counselor in a school here in my region, and i can really say that this field is not easy&#8212;far from what I once imagined.</p><p>When I was younger, I dreamed of becoming a psychologist or therapist, but I was certain of one thing: I would never work in a school. To me then, being a counselor in that setting felt like its not for me. I pictured myself in hospitals, in clinical spaces, doing what I thought was the &#8220;real&#8221; work. But life has a way of leading us where we need to be. And now, I can say with certainty&#8212;this path, the one I never planned for, has been a blessing.</p><p>The system I entered was nothing like what I experienced as a student. The counselors I work with now are intentional, present, and deeply involved. It was a culture shock. I remember thinking, <em>my counselors were never like this&#8212;I barely even stepped into their office.</em> And yet, here I was, becoming the kind of counselor I never had. Little did I know, this was where my journey in mental health truly begins.</p><p>At first, it was light. I handled elementary students&#8212;petty fights, small tantrums, simple concerns. It was manageable, even enjoyable. But when I transitioned to the high school department, everything changed. Teenagers were different&#8212;complex, unpredictable, often guarded. Some rolled their eyes, some were openly disrespectful, and many were navigating the overwhelming tides of adolescence. It was no longer just about behavior; it was about identity, pain, and survival.</p><p>As time passed, the cases grew heavier.</p><p>Mental health crises.<br>Suicide attempts.<br>Self-harm.<br>Students sitting across from me, carrying thoughts of ending their lives.</p><p>There were moments I found myself responding more than reflecting&#8212;rescuing students locked inside restrooms, confiscating blades and sharp objects, calling parents, coordinating urgent interventions. It often felt like I was running on adrenaline, moving from one crisis to another. And when things finally slowed down&#8212;when the student was safe, when the situation was stabilized&#8212;I would feel it all crash into me. The exhaustion. The weight. The silence after the storm.</p><p>That&#8217;s when it hit me.</p><p>This field does not fully prepare you for this.</p><p>It&#8217;s not the paperwork.<br>Not the technical steps.<br>Not even the interventions.</p><p>What shakes you is witnessing the fragility of life up close&#8212;unfiltered, immediate, real.</p><p>This profession asks us to remain steady, composed, and regulated, even when our own hearts are trembling. We become safe spaces for others while quietly carrying the weight of their pain within us. Psychology may be seen as a science of the mind, but so much of it is the art of holding pain.</p><p>We sit with stories that have no clear resolution.<br>We witness trauma that echoes beyond the session.<br>We listen not just to words, but to silences.<br>We carry what others are not yet ready to face.</p><p>There are days when we leave the counseling room both fulfilled and depleted&#8212;holding hope and heartbreak at the same time. Progress is rarely grand or dramatic. More often, it reveals itself in quiet moments: the first tear, the first truth, the first time someone says they want to live again.</p><p>And in those moments, this work becomes something deeply personal.</p><p>I find myself crying for my students.<br>I find joy in their small victories.<br>I feel a quiet pride watching them grow, perform, bloom, and become who they are meant to be.</p><p>Perhaps this is the silent truth of mental health work&#8212;one that is rarely spoken aloud: healing others does not leave us untouched. Saving lives leaves marks on ours, too. And in helping others find their light, we are reminded, again and again, of our shared humanity.</p><p>This is why we must continue to break the stigma around mental health. Because it is real. It is present. It is happening every day&#8212;in classrooms, in hallways, in quiet corners where no one is looking.</p><p>And in the midst of all this, I have come to realize something unexpected:</p><p>I am falling in love with psychology more deeply, every single day.</p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[5 stages of grief]]></title><description><![CDATA[just dumping thoughts.]]></description><link>https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/5-stages-of-grief</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/5-stages-of-grief</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[bey]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 16 Apr 2026 07:10:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg" width="1080" height="1920" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!69X9!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fa9264e17-921f-4fb7-94db-76742449b47e_1080x1920.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image"><svg role="img" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg"><g><title></title><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/5-stages-of-grief?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://justapinkgirly.substack.com/p/5-stages-of-grief?utm_source=substack&utm_medium=email&utm_content=share&action=share"><span>Share</span></a></p><p>According to the K&#252;bler-Ross Model, there are five stages of grief&#8212;commonly known as DABDA: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. These stages are often associated with grieving the death of a loved one or coping with serious illness. They aim to describe the emotional process people go through during life-altering experiences. However, it is important to remember that grief is not linear, and each person experiences it differently.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">When I was still a psychology student three years ago, I believed that this model applied mainly to death&#8212;that grief was something reserved for losing someone physically. I also understood that not everyone goes through all five stages. But as I moved forward in life, I began to realize that grief extends beyond death. It can also emerge from different forms of loss.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Ending a five-year relationship two years ago was one of those experiences. During the first year, everything felt manageable. I was focused, reviewing for my board exams, and meeting new people. It seemed like I was doing well&#8212;peaceful, even. But looking back, I realize that I may have just been distracted. In many ways, I was in denial, unaware that I was grieving the loss of someone who had been part of my life for so long.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">Then came anger. I found myself dwelling on the things he did during the relationship&#8212;the petty arguments, the deeper conflicts. I convinced myself that focusing on these would make it easier to move on. After that, I noticed traces of bargaining. I questioned my own feelings, thinking it was petty to grieve when I was the one who chose to end the relationship.</p><p style="text-align: justify;">But when the busyness faded, when the distractions and people slowly drifted away, the sadness began to surface. It was in those quiet moments that I started to understand what was really happening. I recognized the unhealthy coping mechanisms I had developed, and the emotions I had suppressed for so long. Eventually, they found their way back, demanding to be felt and understood.</p><p>We started talking again. Silly of me to hope that maybe things would finally be okay for both of us. Then one day, he stopped talking to me&#8212;again. And again, I felt foolish for hoping, especially knowing that I was the one who ended things in the first place. Later on, I found out that he had already been dating someone else&#8212;around the same time he was still talking to me. Once more, I felt silly for believing that there was still something left to hold on to.</p><p>That was when it hit me: I wasn&#8217;t really okay. I hadn&#8217;t truly moved on, nor had I allowed myself the space to heal. I had just been distracting myself&#8212;convincing myself that I was fine, until I eventually believed that lie.</p><p>In that moment of clarity, I saw how broken I really was. I realized how much I still missed him, and how painful it was to see him living the kind of moments we once shared&#8212;but now with someone else.</p><p>And that&#8217;s when the weight of it all settled in. I felt myself sinking into sadness, grieving not just the relationship, but everything that came with it&#8212;the memories, the future I once imagined, the version of us that no longer exists. I felt lost, like I didn&#8217;t know how to begin again.</p><p>It felt like a real ending&#8212;despite the fact that we had already ended years ago.</p><p>I thought I wouldn&#8217;t be able to get through it&#8212;that I wouldn&#8217;t overcome it. But somehow, I started showing up, even when it felt like the hardest thing to do. I kept living, even during the days when all I wanted was to stop.</p><p>I slowly began to redirect my energy&#8212;returning to the things I once loved: reading, painting, writing. I explored new hobbies, went on solo dates, spent time with friends. Little by little, I learned how to sit with my emotions instead of running from them. I allowed myself to feel everything&#8212;to face it, to understand it, and to carry it.</p><p>It wasn&#8217;t easy. In fact, it was exhausting. Sitting with your emotions can drain you in ways nothing else can. But I realized that this was where real healing begins&#8212;not in avoidance, but in acknowledgment. I held on to the quiet hope that one day, on some random, ordinary day, I would finally feel okay again. So I let myself cry. I let myself be broken. I allowed myself to be vulnerable.</p><p>And then, slowly&#8212;almost without noticing&#8212;I started to feel better. The thoughts were still there, sometimes appearing in the middle of my day, but they no longer had the same weight. I found myself in a better place.</p><p>Now, I see myself entering the stage of acceptance. I am learning to accept what happened, to accept that what we had has truly ended. And surprisingly, I&#8217;ve reached a point where I can say I&#8217;m happy for him&#8212;genuinely.</p><p>One day, without planning it, I realized I was ready to close that chapter and move forward. To live my life again&#8212;this time, without him.</p><p>Grief is real. And when you&#8217;re in it, you experience emotions that are often difficult to name or explain. It can feel like being stuck in darkness, as if the sun has forgotten how to shine. But grief is not linear. It is messy, unpredictable, and deeply personal. It isn&#8217;t something to &#8220;fix&#8221; or rush through&#8212;it&#8217;s something to move with. And, true healing comes from allowing yourself to feel the pain, to let it change shape over time until it becomes something you can carry.</p><p>And one day, without even realizing it, you wake up and it doesn&#8217;t hurt the same anymore.</p><p>I&#8217;m not at 100% yet&#8212;but I am in a much better place now. Far better than I was months ago. I can say that I&#8217;ve survived my darkest days, the hardest days. I&#8217;m starting to see the sun again. I&#8217;m learning to love life genuinely, and to reconnect with the things that make me feel alive.</p><p>Like Taylor Swift once said, you can always begin again.</p><p>Still, it&#8217;s important to remember: just as grief is not linear, neither is healing. It comes in waves. Some days will feel heavier than others&#8212;but that doesn&#8217;t mean you&#8217;re back at the beginning. It just means you&#8217;re human.</p><p>Face it bravely. Trust that the sun will rise again. Trust that you will find your spark again.</p><p>So keep going. Keep living and loving life.</p><p>Not just surviving&#8212;but truly living.</p><p>And now, as I write this, I am closing that chapter of my life.</p><p>This is me&#8212;finally accepting that it has already ended. What we had was real. It was still a beautiful five years. And i have so much love and respect for that relationship.</p><p>And despite everything, I carry no regrets.</p><p>Just gratitude&#8230; and a quiet kind of peace. :)</p>]]></content:encoded></item></channel></rss>